Exploring relationships with partners devoid of morals, empathy, honesty and a conscience

Psychopathy in Society | Compassion versus Safety
Psychopathy in Society | Compassion versus Safety

Compassion Versus Safety

© 2013 NeuroInstincts | All Rights Reserved | No Unauthorized Reproduction Permitted in any form

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Given that psychopathy is a disorder, do we hold them accountable for their actions? It IS their personality structure to victimize others and due to their neurobiology, they cannot easily change their manner of interactions.

For some, this very issue places them within a quandary. Do we punish or reject a population of individuals based upon actions associated with their disorder?

Let’s explore the issue of compassion versus safety

If you poll a sample of the population, we suspect there will be at least four general response styles …

  1.  “Have compassion and understand they cannot help what they do. Even when they severely hurt others.”
  2.  “The symptoms of psychopathy are far too serious to risk personal harm or death (for those with severe psychopathy). Avoid them and absolutely punish them if they commit a crime.”
  3. “I don’t know how I feel. It depends on what they do. If they take someone’s life or rape someone, then we should hold them accountable. Otherwise, encourage them to get treatment and try not to take their behavior personally.”
  4. “Always keep distance. Be vigilant regarding safety. Live my life without consideration to this population (live and let live). Leave decisions regarding treatment to the person with psychopathy and their chosen specialist.”

We suspect the choice between compassion versus safety is often made for us automatically.

Healthy (non-psychopathic) humans have a natural aversion to immorality and the victimization of others – regardless of the type. The immorality could be demonstrated as cheating, bullying, pathological lying, manipulation, deception, rape, or murder. Yes, the intensity of our response differs based on their offense, however we tend to naturally reject such behaviors. We do not want such actions to be bestowed upon ourselves or our loved ones.

© 2009 MflippoAccording to research, psychopaths make up approximately 1 -2 % of our population. Of the criminal population, a large portion are psychopaths – approximately 15 – 25% (Koenigs, 2012). Additionally, psychopaths account for approximately 50% of the most heinous and violent crimes.

“Within one year of release from prison, psychopathic criminal offenders are up to four times more likely to recidivate than nonpsychopathic offenders.” (Aharoni, Sinnott-Armstrong, and Kiehl, 2012, p. 484)

The range of offenses (morally or criminally) committed by psychopaths is wide. Not everyone with psychopathy is a criminal. Some will never break the law or get as much as a speeding ticket. Of those who are criminals, a portion of those individuals are murderers, violent, and/or sexual offenders.

Psychopaths deliver much of their destruction and pain through relationships – particularly romantic, employment, and child-parent interactions.

Essentially, all forms of relationships are impaired, because

  1. They cannot bond.
  2. They tend to use people for a purpose [Exploit].
  3. They lack empathy, morality, genuine care/tenderness, respect, appreciation, accountability.
  4. Many are hypersensitive and easily jealous of others.
  5. They strongly desire power and control.
  6. They are narcissistic, haughty, and grandiose.
  7. They tend to be suspicious that others may try to ‘get one over’ on them.
  8. Many have secrets they keep hidden from their mate (e.g., a child, another woman, escorts, homosexuality if within a heterosexual relationship)
  9. They tend to have frequent vacillating and contradicting opinions (one day they adore someone/ the next day they hate them).
  10. They tend to be hypersexual/ promiscuous.
  11. Some have uncontrolled sexually deviant desires (some act on those desires).

Often the people who suffer the most are those closest to them (e.g., husbands, wives, children, employees, coworkers).

Can we be compassionate, as well as safe?

© Eric Molina

What if extending that compassion toward an individual places you or your loved ones at extreme risk for manipulation, emotional pain, victimization, or death?

There are many who feel that if only we would reach out to psychopaths and help them, then all would be fine. Some place the responsibility of help upon society, given that these individuals are extremely sick morally.

It is human nature to feel compassion for anyone who has a disorder. Compassion is the reflection of a loving spirit. However, with most important decisions in life, conclusions are often arrived at via information, experiences, and our individual responsibilities (e.g., mother who has children to protect).

The bottom line is that everyone independently determines how they manage compassion/empathy versus safety when it comes to psychopaths. It is an individual decision.

Psychopaths do not live by the same standards of society as the rest of us; even those who do not commit crimes.

In society, we understand the following:

It is not normal to manipulate someone you professed to love.

It is not normal to consistently and intentionally hurt the feeling of someone who cares deeply for you.

It is not normal to belittle, disrespect, and torment another.

It is not normal to hurt others in any manner and feel no remorse, shame, or guilt.

It is not normal to stalk someone who has decided they would prefer not to engage in a relationship with you.

Non-psychopathic individuals likely never consider such thoughts, much less engage in such acts.

© 2013 NeuroInstincts | All Rights Reserved | No Unauthorized Reproduction Permitted in any form


 Image Credits

• Handcuffs: © 2009 Mflippo

http://www.canstockphoto.com/mflippo/

• Snake with Child: © Eric Molina [toddler caring for family pet/ snake]

http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamagenious/2156970576/

License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

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