Exploring relationships with partners devoid of morals, empathy, honesty and a conscience

Avoiding Abusers | Instincts Can Help, but is it Enough?

Avoiding Abusers | Instincts Help, but is it Enough?

© 2013 NeuroInstincts | All Rights Reserved | No Unauthorized Reproduction Permitted in any form

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“When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them.”

Maya Angelou

Psychopathy is responsible for the devastation and abuse of many individuals, children, families, and communities. They can be a dangerous population of individuals, with their offenses ranging from emotional abuse within romantic relationships to rape, child abuse, corporate crimes, pedophilia, and murder (including serial killing | random mass murder). The range and intensity of symptoms within this condition is vast.

One might wonder how can they be protected from an intimate relationship with an individual who can create an environment of intense pain and destruction.

Avoiding individuals with psychopathy can be challenging, however not impossible.

Often in the beginning of an intimate relationship with a psychopath, it can be difficult to detect you are in the presence of someone with this particular disorder. They can appear normal, charming, and quite likable.

Your first line of defense is to ensure all of the following are present

First line of defense to keep abusers from capturing your heart:



Instincts will also be helpful.

“But how can instincts be helpful in protecting my heart from entanglement with a psychopath?”

Instincts can give us clues into the true nature of another individual. 

Given that this is handled by the emotional region of the brain (subconscious), it is an automatic process.

Instincts can detect what is unspoken.

While a psychopathic individual may attempt to present themselves in a certain light while in the midst of their grooming manipulation, sometimes the potential victim’s instincts can detect who they really are at their core.

For example, the emotional brain might detect an ’emptiness’ and coldness emitting from them. It could be that their affect is flat and incongruent with the mood of the rest of the group, such as:

  • She seems disinterested and gives no emotional reaction when someone shares a very sad or traumatic story.

  • He laughs at the pain of others.

  • She gives others a ‘creepy vibe’ and your friends prefer not to be around her.

  • He made a comment directed at someone else that caused you to feel a chill down your spine.

  • He related to the perpetrators of a violent act rather than the victims in discussions of current events, causing you to feel puzzled. 

We all have instincts that help us to ‘feel‘ what may not be apparent at face value – to detect that something is wrong. The brain has an alarm system for danger and can sometimes detect dysfunction in others. Therefore, through our instincts or intuition we may get a whisper or in some instances a loud alarm that this individual might not be emotionally safe and should be avoided.

We may not be able to ‘put our finger on it’ or articulate exactly what the problem is, but our instincts help to alert us that something is not quite right.

Many individuals with strong psychopathic traits put forth quite a bit of effort to throw this system off balance. When we combine our instincts with logical/analytical thought, we can then come to a decision of how to proceed. 

Psychopaths use their charm and manipulative skills to either lead you to question your instincts OR ignore them altogether. They are often busy at the task of dampening your instincts to prove they are a normal, honest, ‘good catch’.  They may even repeatedly use phrases or words to remind you, you are in the presence of a human ~ “I’m a good man” | “I’m a normal guy.” |”I’m really trustworthy.”

Open and Observational

young strict woman wearing eyeglassesIn the beginning of psychopathic relationships if the non-psychopathic individual maintains an open mind, functions within an observational state, incorporates her instincts, and is willing to look objectively at the psychopath’s behavior, she might be able to detect red flags that give evidence of the psychopath’s true character.

She has to be willing to respond to the character that is actually before her at this time and not the man he was during the first few weeks, months, or beginning of the relationship. If he is now abusive, disrespectful, and demonstrating the signs of psychopathy or dysfunction – then a shift in her response is in order if she wants to protect her heart.

© 2013 NeuroInstincts | All Rights Reserved | No Unauthorized Reproduction Permitted in any form

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