Intrusive thoughts can take a couple of forms after a narcissistic relationship; they can be either positive or negative. In this article, I’m going to focus on the negative intrusive thoughts. These are the painful, distressing, involuntary memories associated with the trauma of the relationship. I find intrusive thoughts particularly tough, because they do not […]
The Relationship
Let's dive into what it's like to be in a relationship with a psychopath.
3 Possibilities to Consider Before you Assume You’re Codependent
Have you been involved with a narcissist and wondered if the reason you stayed or made that partner choice was due to ‘codependency’? It can be easy to jump to the conclusion that you attracted a mate that was abusive, disrespectful and unkind. But the reality is, narcissists are attracted to a large array of […]
I’m Not Responsible! The Blame Game
Let’s discuss a hurtful, distorted thinking style demonstrated by many abusers that exacerbates a survivor’s pain: blame-shifting. They feel no remorse for blaming others for their actions. This leaves their victims nursing a broken heart and attempting to cope with the dark, heavy sensations of guilt, shame, and regret. Blame shifting, in my opinion, is a […]
Psychological trauma – often more challenging than physical trauma
Why is psychological trauma often more difficult to overcome than physical trauma. Because psychological trauma has the potential to leave scars that can change the way a person approaches life. It can change their personality, their decisions, the way they view themselves, and how they feel about letting anyone else come close to them emotionally. […]
The Narcissist in your Life
The Hopeless Romantic You met this great guy (girl). They cook you dinner. You come home to a path of roses on the floor. Beautiful walks on the beach with wine. You’re connecting with this person. And not because of the things they’re doing, but because you’re enjoying the natural human process of forming a […]
Trauma Response to the Narcissistic Relationship
Your Intense Reaction to the Relationship is Neurological (and normal) … Psychopathic and narcissistic relationships are more than a little stressful, they are often traumatic. When it comes to the brain, trauma is cumulative; it adds up. This is important to be aware of, because trauma changes the way the cognitive (thinking) and emotional systems of […]
All I do is Attract Narcissists … What’s Wrong with Me?
Life After Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Let’s say you’ve worked hard on your healing; you put in months or years to have a strong educational foundation regarding narcissistic personality disorder. You can look at your psychological development and feel proud of your growth and knowledge. You wake up in the morning with a mind free from […]
Four Reasons Explanations Rarely Work in an Argument with a Narcissist
Do you use Explaining to try to Settle an Argument with a Narcissist? Have you found yourself feeling exasperated, blamed, or twisted into a mental pretzel when in a disagreement or argument with a narcissist? Well, most of us feel that way, even with minor issues when someone has a disorder on the pathological narcissism […]
The Narcissist’s Style of Love – A Toxic Cocktail
What makes matters so confusing for the brain of survivors is that pathological narcissists blend the most superficial levels of love with hate that is at the core of their disorder. It’s a toxic cocktail they serve continuously to their partners. The Seductive, Violating World of Abusers Often when we walk into an abuser’s world […]
The Trauma Bond | The Uncontrollable Drive to Stay Connected
A Brief Chat from the Backyard © All rights reserved In this video I discuss how the reward system is involved in fueling the sensations, emotions, thoughts, and cravings many will have regarding the narcissist. The trauma bond ignites many different regions of the brain and can cause us to feel terribly out of control. […]
Affective Resonance: I Don’t Feel You & You Can’t Feel Me | Narcissists & Psychopaths
(c) 2018 All Rights Reserved | Rhonda Freeman, PhD Affective resonance is basically the unspoken social connection and interaction that takes place between brains. It comes from the deepest regions of the brain reaching out to the deepest regions of the other beings brain. It covers a large range of emotional states — for example, empathy […]
Three Personality Traits That Increase Vulnerability to Unhealthy or Toxic Partners
Does it feel like you attract the same kind of partner again and again? One that does not add value to your life or enhance your personal growth, but rather one that leads you straight to the therapists’ office. Let’s look at certain personality characteristics that may attract unsavory characters into your life. Survivors of […]
Can I make it work if I use my Cluster B Education? | Staying with the Narcissist or Psychopath
Can I make this work? © 2018 Rhonda Freeman, PhD Sometimes I hear from website visitors that they want to stay; and for those who have someone low on the pathological narcissism spectrum, I understand why that would be tempting. They tell me that they want tips that will allow them to ‘manage’ their […]
Psychopathy Researcher Discusses the Behavior of Psychopaths
Dr. David Kosson and Dr. Rhonda Freeman Discuss Behaviors of Psychopaths © 2017 Rhonda Freeman, PhD | All Rights Reserved I have to offer my apologies – the introduction I recorded to our discussion has poor sound quality (low volume). Seems the mic was not close enough given the size of the room. I am […]
Neuroscience Behind Idealize, Devalue, and Discard
Neuroscience Behind Idealize, Devalue, and Discard [My Two Phase Theory] © 2017 NeuroInstincts | All Rights Reserved [Reviewed 2018] Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder and psychopathy tend to rotate through partners in a relatively predictable manner. The well-known idealize, devalue, and discard cycle has been reported by many victims of abuse. (The video below illustrates […]
Why Does It Feel Like Two Different Relationships When One Unwittingly Falls for a Psychopath?
The Two Phases of a Psychopathic Relationship [My Reward System Theory] © 2017 NeuroInstincts | All Rights Reserved No Unauthorized Reproduction Permitted in any form Many women and men struggle with extreme levels of pain and stress due to relationship problems. Some couples can work through their obstacles and get back on track. But, for […]
Video: The Trauma Bond and Mean, Hateful Partners
The Trauma Bond: The Hook of Narcissists, Psychopaths, & Abusers Answers to the following scenarios can be explained, at least in part, by the trauma bond. Why do I feel a connection to someone who is awful to me? I see that she lacks morals, boundaries, and stability, yet I feel addicted to her. Why […]
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not – Psychopathy, Narcissistic Personality, and Safe, Loving Relationships
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not – Psychopathy, Narcissistic Personality, and Safe, Loving Relationships © 2016 NeuroInstincts | All Rights Reserved No Unauthorized Reproduction Permitted in any form One of the most disheartening realities I have encountered as a personality educator is victim shaming and blaming. When you are a survivor or someone who […]
The Spellbinding Bond to Narcissists and Psychopaths – Neurobiology
Neurobiological and Psychological Contributors Why did she stay? This question is at the forefront for many when they consider the actions of some abuse survivors. For the outsider, it looks like a simple logical decision to walk away from anyone who poses a threat or causes psychological harm. But the reasons that many stay entangled […]
Feeling Addicted to a Narcissist?
Yearning, craving, and dysregulated emotions can happen in response to any significant relationship ending. It’s normal. One of the reasons for this craving is a powerful system within our brain – the Reward System. Due to significant activity within the brain’s ‘reward system’ and associated neurochemistry (e.g., dopamine), we can easily feel intense emotions toward […]
Narcissistic & Psychopathic Relationships – Blindsiding and Discarding
The Disrespectful, Hateful, Flippant Breakup © 2016 Rhonda Freeman, PhD | All Rights Reserved Control, rudeness, and disdain will often replace the red hot, all-consuming attraction (‘love’) they have for their partners. This is one of many hallmarks of a narcissistic and psychopathic relationship. In relationships with individuals with psychopathy and narcissism, no one is more important than they […]
How Can I Love You? You Caused Such Pain
How Can I Love? You Caused Such Pain? © 2016 NeuroInstincts | All Rights Reserved | No Unauthorized Reproduction Permitted in any form Stress and abuse are very difficult conditions to endure when they stem from someone you love. When we are intimately connected with someone who is harsh, callous, and motivated to ‘spin’ reality […]
Relationship Cycle of Individuals with Psychopathy and Narcissistic Personality Disorder – Idealize, Devalue, Discard
Common Relationship Cycle of Pathological Narcissists (c) All Rights Reserved The well-known cycle of idealize, devalue, and discard has been experienced by many abuse victims. The cycle takes an abuser from intense interest to total disdain of their partner. And if you’ve fallen in love with someone within the Cluster B Personality Disorder group, you’ve likely […]
Addicted to a Psychologically Dangerous Partner
Did you know it’s normal for our brain to have an addicted feeling toward the people we love? Yes! It is nature’s way of ensuring we mate and also properly care for any helpless beings in our care. Equally as important as humans, is our social relationships. They are crucial to our mental and physical […]
