From Envy to Exploitation: The Narcissist's Emotional Heist
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Envy is often misunderstood as a straightforward emotion, but its complexity becomes evident, especially when linked with narcissistic personality disorder. This article examines the harmful aspects of envy (when this symptom is present) in individuals with a narcissistic personality disorder, exposing a pattern of emotional exploitation, targeting, and theft that is alarming.
Benign envy is often associated with being the motivation behind self-improvement for some. However, the envy felt by narcissists is aimed at actively diminishing others in order to boost their own egos. It is usually not within the category of ‘benign’ because it can easily lead to the violation of another.
This dark form of envy sheds light on one of the emotional drivers behind narcissistic behaviors like exploitation, deception, and projected insecurities.
Here’s a quick clip before we jump into the main article:
Can Anyone Experience Envy?
Before we continue, understand that almost everyone has experienced envy at some point in their lives (repeatedly). It is a natural response to seeing someone else possess something we desire but do not have. And yes, experiencing envy can make us feel badly in the moment. We have all probably been there before.
However, the envy of a narcissist is not typically isolated to that component of the emotion, but rather how they respond to it. For someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, envy can potentially turn destructive and can hurt others (e.g., another’s income, feelings, reputation, or well-being).
By examining both the psychological and neurological underpinnings of pathological narcissistic envy, we can better understand the harmful interpersonal approaches it fuels.
Targeting - It Could Happen to Anyone
Even if you are not in a relationship with a narcissist, you are not immune to their envy. Simply living your life—whether you’re excelling at work, dating someone they want, moving to a better neighborhood, gifted with beauty, creating high-quality online content, or just basking in your peaceful, confident nature (‘minding your business’) —can trigger their envy.
Essentially, any quality or achievement you possess could become a target of envy for a narcissist, whether or not they know you personally.
Duplicate & Copy Another
They can become so caught up in their envy that they have been known to repeatedly copy the person they envy. They will rationalize it as acceptable. For example:
- Take on the persona of someone else.
- Copy the online content of another and pass it off as their own.
The Anatomy of Envy in Narcissists
Some with a narcissistic personality disorder do not simply feel envy; they often weaponize it. Contrary to those who experience benign envy, which can be a driver behind self-improvement (or can lead us to decide to shift attention away from the envied person to reduce feeling ‘less than’ in some manner.) Some narcissists tend to respond to the painful sense of inferiority by focusing intensely on the person they envy, viewing them as competition—even if the feeling is one-sided.
Rather than seeking self-improvement, they often aim to diminish their own pain by undermining the person they envy, whether by
- stealing the person’s work to appear more competent,
- making sure to ‘one-up’ you in conversation,
- offering a snide comment that instantly dampens a celebratory moment (“I heard they accepted anyone who applied to that program this year.”), or
- by disparaging another to hinder their progress.
From a neurological stance, it appears one of the issues could be with brain pathways that control:
- anticipating rewards and
- detecting social threats
as one of the driving forces behind malicious envy. For example, abnormal functioning of the ventral striatum and anterior insula may contribute to persistent feelings of inferiority and envy.
Benign vs. Malicious Envy
Benign envy can inspire individuals to improve themselves. However, I hold the belief that malicious envy can also be inspirational – for someone with a narcissistic personality disorder.
It can drive a narcissist to relentlessly / obsessively pursue goals to try to be seen as number one, prove they are better than others, gain certain resources, support a delusional belief in their superiority, gain control or power, or compete with another. They may work very hard to make this happen. For many, added to that hard work (to get those goals met) they may lie, manipulate, gaslight, cheat, steal, and hurt others in pursuit of what they want. All driven by envy, blended with their lack of morality.
When compared to benign envy, as you see malicious envy, can clearly be inspirational for the narcissistic person, however it has a ‘malicious‘ foundation.
Here is the other side of malicious envy (the more commonly known) –
Quite different from benign envy, malicious envy, often experienced by narcissists, seeks to:
- bring the envied person down.
- take something from the envied person.
- or compete with that person (even if the envied person has no awareness a status competition is taking place).
This form of envy is not about self-improvement but usually about damaging another to elevate oneself. Or to serve the ego of the narcissistic individual. This malicious form of envy may also be linked to diminished medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC) activation, which is associated with problems in self-awareness and morality.
The lack of true self-reflection (and prosocial morality) allows narcissists to justify harmful behaviors they tend to commit when overcome with envy.
The Magic 3 of Narcissistic Envy: Gain, Status, and Manipulation
This triad is fueled by dysregulation in the brain’s reward system and deficits in self-awareness. Specifically, abnormal dopamine signaling in regions like the ventral striatum may drive narcissists to continually seek external validation through envious exploitation of others. And diminished medial prefrontal cortex activation could make it challenging for them to reflect on their own insecurities and behavior.
The Moral Vacancy: Ethics, What Ethics?
Narcissists tend to operate with minimal prosocial morality, justifying their envious actions through a delusional sense of entitlement and superiority.
For example: a narcissistic man who was trying to have a baby with his partner remembers the special name she hoped to use for a daughter. After breaking up, he used that same name for his child with his new partner a year later. He then informed his ex-partner of his daughter’s name after her birth. Naturally, his ex-partner was hurt and shocked that he would do something so callous. She expressed her disbelief and pain; he launched into a narcissistic rage and claimed it was a coincidence that his new partner chose the same name.
This real-life example further demonstrates the deception and vindictiveness of narcissistic envy. The man felt entitled to steal the meaningful name his ex-partner shared with him in intimacy. When caught in his act, he dodges responsibility through lies and projection. His sense of superiority overrules any ethical concerns about deeply hurting her.
This lack of morality may be connected to atypical functioning of brain networks and neurochemistry involved in empathy and compassion, such as low oxytocin and the anterior cingulate cortex and insula. Together, these neural differences make it easier for narcissists to rationalize causing harm to satisfy their envy while avoiding accountability.
Envy Projection: The Ultimate Manipulation
In some cases, narcissists may even project their envy onto their victims, accusing them of being envious. For instance, a narcissistic partner envies your close relationship with your siblings. They claim you cling to family out of envy over their independence.
This serves as a double manipulation or a twofold deception.
First, the narcissist envies something meaningful you possess, whether a relationship, skill, or accomplishment. Rather than celebrate you, they feel compelled to undermine and discredit you out of their own sense of inferiority.
Second, they manipulate the situation further by ascribing their envy to you, making you out to be the jealous one. This both deflects their own envy and induces guilt in their target.
Essentially, the narcissist steals your right to feel pride, then blames you for feeling robbed. It is a manipulative emotional sleight of hand.
From a neurological standpoint, it’s possible that issues with the connections between the medial prefrontal cortex and the anterior cingulate cortex, two brain regions involved in self-awareness and empathy, are the root cause of the propensity to project envy onto others.
When these areas do not communicate properly, it can lead to difficulties recognizing one’s own envy and fully understanding others’ emotions.
The Neuroscience of Envy
Envy activates brain regions involved in
- processing pain,
- reward anticipation, and
- social-emotional behaviors.
For example, fMRI studies indicate that the experience of envy engages the anterior cingulate cortex and anterior insula, areas linked to physical pain, social rejection, and emotional distress.
Envy hurts!
Envy also involves reward circuitry like the ventral striatum.
Key neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin also influence envy’s neurobiology. Altogether, these findings underscore the complex neural underpinnings of envy as both a social and emotional experience.
My Hypotheses on the Neuroscience of 'Narcissistic Envy'
Neuroimaging studies show that individuals with a narcissistic personality disorder often demonstrate faulty or atypical activation in brain areas and systems associated with empathy, compassion, hypersensitive ego-threat response, and emotion regulation, such as:
- the anterior insula,
- dorsal anterior cingulate cortex,
- and ventromedial prefrontal cortex.
When you pair the above neurological deficiencies with the neuroscience of envy in general, one can hypothesize that this complex neurobiological mixture is a major driver behind their feelings of inferiority (when they see someone has something they want) and malicious envy.
Conclusion
In examining the psychology and neuroscience of pathological narcissistic envy, some clear insights emerge. Different from benign envy that can potentially motivate self-improvement, the chronic envy of those with a narcissistic personality disorder reflects dysregulation in brain systems governing reward anticipation, self-awareness, and empathy.
Rather than inspire growth, narcissistic envy drives a painful sense of inferiority and a laser focus on diminishing the envied person. This stems from faulty functioning of brain regions like the ventral striatum, medial prefrontal cortex, and anterior insula. It fuels their propensity to harm through exploitation, deceit, and projection. But – it can also motivate them toward self-improvement, albeit based on a malicious, competitive, immoral, foundation.
Neuroscience reveals how narcissistic envy represents more than simply wanting what someone else has. It is a phenomenon with roots in neural networks essential for morality, relationships, and emotional regulation.
By understanding the psychological and neurological drivers of narcissistic envy, we can better recognize it, minimize its interpersonal damage, and discourage its projection onto innocent targets. Knowledge of this emotional heist empowers us to guard against its harms.
Best ♡ Rhonda Freeman, PhD | Neuropsychologist
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