Have you been involved with a narcissist and wondered if the reason you stayed or made that partner choice was due to ‘codependency’? It can be easy to jump to the conclusion that you attracted a mate that was abusive, disrespectful and unkind. But the reality is, narcissists are attracted to a large array of […]
narcissist
I’m Not Responsible! The Blame Game
Let’s discuss a hurtful, distorted thinking style demonstrated by many abusers that exacerbates a survivor’s pain: blame-shifting. They feel no remorse for blaming others for their actions. This leaves their victims nursing a broken heart and attempting to cope with the dark, heavy sensations of guilt, shame, and regret. Blame shifting, in my opinion, is a […]
The Narcissist in your Life
The Hopeless Romantic You met this great guy (girl). They cook you dinner. You come home to a path of roses on the floor. Beautiful walks on the beach with wine. You’re connecting with this person. And not because of the things they’re doing, but because you’re enjoying the natural human process of forming a […]
All I do is Attract Narcissists … What’s Wrong with Me?
Life After Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Let’s say you’ve worked hard on your healing; you put in months or years to have a strong educational foundation regarding narcissistic personality disorder. You can look at your psychological development and feel proud of your growth and knowledge. You wake up in the morning with a mind free from […]
Four Reasons Explanations Rarely Work in an Argument with a Narcissist
Do you use Explaining to try to Settle an Argument with a Narcissist? Have you found yourself feeling exasperated, blamed, or twisted into a mental pretzel when in a disagreement or argument with a narcissist? Well, most of us feel that way, even with minor issues when someone has a disorder on the pathological narcissism […]
The Understanding Narcissism Summit
Understanding Narcissism | Sounds True Hi everyone – I’m so excited to tell you about ‘ The Understanding Narcissism summit.’ 1. From November 4th – 13th, Sounds True is presenting a summit – Understanding Narcissism, filled with psychologists and therapists who specialize in this area. The summit is free during that time period, so […]
World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day | #Ifmywoundswerevisible
World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day June 1st 2019 Hi All It’s that time of year again – World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day (WNAAD). And wow am I excited; the line up this year is fantastic again! For example, my colleague Dr. David Kosson (Past president of Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy, researcher/ university […]
Narcissistic Personality & Psychopathy Red Flags – Competition
Unfortunately, many with narcissistic and psychopathic traits are competitive in interactions. The competition might be demonstrated when they spontaneously describe themselves (i.e., “I’m a winner” | “I have a very high IQ.”).
Narcissists – Insecurity Hidden Behind a Veil of Strength
People with narcissistic personality disorder are simultaneously fragile and arrogant. It can be such an odd display to witness this blend of traits in action. Their arrogance can come across as someone who is very strong, powerful in character, and hence would make a great leader. But the reality is, the reverse is usually true. […]
5 Tips for Dealing with Toxic Family During the Holidays
Dealing with Toxic Family During the Holidays (c) 2018 | Rhonda Freeman, PhD For many the holidays will bring exposure to family members that are personality disordered. And although that is tough for ANYONE to handle, it is even more difficult for the empath or person filled with integrity, morals, and kindness. Five self-care tips […]
The Trauma Bond | The Uncontrollable Drive to Stay Connected
A Brief Chat from the Backyard © All rights reserved In this video I discuss how the reward system is involved in fueling the sensations, emotions, thoughts, and cravings many will have regarding the narcissist. The trauma bond ignites many different regions of the brain and can cause us to feel terribly out of control. […]
Affective Resonance: I Don’t Feel You & You Can’t Feel Me | Narcissists & Psychopaths
(c) 2018 All Rights Reserved | Rhonda Freeman, PhD Affective resonance is basically the unspoken social connection and interaction that takes place between brains. It comes from the deepest regions of the brain reaching out to the deepest regions of the other beings brain. It covers a large range of emotional states — for example, empathy […]
Three Personality Traits That Increase Vulnerability to Unhealthy or Toxic Partners
Does it feel like you attract the same kind of partner again and again? One that does not add value to your life or enhance your personal growth, but rather one that leads you straight to the therapists’ office. Let’s look at certain personality characteristics that may attract unsavory characters into your life. Survivors of […]
Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder an Illness?
(c) 2018 Rhonda Freeman, PhD What a great question! Is narcissistic personality disorder an illness or a choice? Here is my opinion. Narcissistic personality disorder is an illness. A mental illness. It is a disorder. “A choice” you mention? This is where it gets trickier. Yes, they do fully understand right from wrong; they […]
Can I make it work if I use my Cluster B Education? | Staying with the Narcissist or Psychopath
Can I make this work? © 2018 Rhonda Freeman, PhD Sometimes I hear from website visitors that they want to stay; and for those who have someone low on the pathological narcissism spectrum, I understand why that would be tempting. They tell me that they want tips that will allow them to ‘manage’ their […]
Retaliation & Revenge | Aftermath of Narcissistic & Psychopathic Abuse
Anger in the Aftermath of a Narcissistic Relationship (c) All Rights Reserved The aftermath of narcissistic abuse will often include feelings of anger. Angry that they are disordered; angry that they had the arrogance/audacity/ hatred to abuse you; angry that they possibly wasted years of your life; angry that you need to heal simply for loving […]
What about you? Self-Care After the Narcissistic or Psychopathic Relationship
Guilt and Shame | A message to survivors ‘new’ to the aftermath All rights reserved When you’re fresh out of an abusive relationship with a narcissist or psychopath your mind can feel on fire with conflicting thoughts and intense emotions. You might feel angry with your abuser; you might feel angry with yourself. You might […]
Why ‘No Contact,’ Intentional Detachment, & Support Help the Trauma Bond
‘No Contact,’ Detachment, & Support (Updated 2020) © 2017 Rhonda Freeman, PhD The combination of (non-professional) approaches I have found to be most helpful for survivors to implement in the aftermath of narcissistic and psychopathic abuse are No Contact Detachment Support Let’s look at why. Feeling deeply attached to a partner that has turned on you […]
Neuroscience Behind Idealize, Devalue, and Discard
Neuroscience Behind Idealize, Devalue, and Discard [My Two Phase Theory] © 2017 NeuroInstincts | All Rights Reserved [Reviewed 2018] Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder and psychopathy tend to rotate through partners in a relatively predictable manner. The well-known idealize, devalue, and discard cycle has been reported by many victims of abuse. (The video below illustrates […]
Video: The Trauma Bond and Mean, Hateful Partners
The Trauma Bond: The Hook of Narcissists, Psychopaths, & Abusers Answers to the following scenarios can be explained, at least in part, by the trauma bond. Why do I feel a connection to someone who is awful to me? I see that she lacks morals, boundaries, and stability, yet I feel addicted to her. Why […]
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not – Psychopathy, Narcissistic Personality, and Safe, Loving Relationships
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not – Psychopathy, Narcissistic Personality, and Safe, Loving Relationships © 2016 NeuroInstincts | All Rights Reserved No Unauthorized Reproduction Permitted in any form One of the most disheartening realities I have encountered as a personality educator is victim shaming and blaming. When you are a survivor or someone who […]
Feeling Addicted to a Narcissist?
Yearning, craving, and dysregulated emotions can happen in response to any significant relationship ending. It’s normal. One of the reasons for this craving is a powerful system within our brain – the Reward System. Due to significant activity within the brain’s ‘reward system’ and associated neurochemistry (e.g., dopamine), we can easily feel intense emotions toward […]
Narcissistic & Psychopathic Relationships – Blindsiding and Discarding
The Disrespectful, Hateful, Flippant Breakup © 2016 Rhonda Freeman, PhD | All Rights Reserved Control, rudeness, and disdain will often replace the red hot, all-consuming attraction (‘love’) they have for their partners. This is one of many hallmarks of a narcissistic and psychopathic relationship. In relationships with individuals with psychopathy and narcissism, no one is more important than they […]
Healing After Trauma – Narcissistic & Psychopathic Abuse
Getting through the Trauma After Narcissistic & Psychopathic Abuse © All Rights Reserved Cruelty, psychological games, and danger are never love. This is why the breakup period or aftermath with abusers often require a recovery process. Healing. It is not a matter of a broken heart, but a broken spirit; a ravaged soul. Unlike normal […]
