A Brief Chat from the Backyard
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In this video I discuss how the reward system is involved in fueling the sensations, emotions, thoughts, and cravings many will have regarding the narcissist. The trauma bond ignites many different regions of the brain and can cause us to feel terribly out of control.
This bond does fade with time. For some, it is instantaneous (They wake up one day and feel repulsed or apathetic when it comes to their (ex) narcissistic mate.) For others, the fading of the trauma bond is gradual and slower.
Regardless of if it is quick or prolonged, I want you to always remember, it is the brain that is creating these sensations. And the brain is an organ that can be impacted by the choices we make.
We can (a) decide to vent on a message board all day regarding the behaviors of our ex-mate. OR (b) connect with friends and family, take our dog on a walk, move the body (e.g., yoga), journal, learn about narcissism (with limits), and go out in nature. Choosing one of the activities within option b will contribute toward cooling down the activity of the reward system.
When it comes to the reward system, the goal is to help it disengage from the abusive partner with pathological narcissism. It might ramp up the intensity of cravings temporarily, but do not worry – that will fade.
You can do this!
All my best,
Rhonda Freeman, PhD
Check out more articles regarding the Trauma Bond:
Why ‘No Contact,’ Intentional Detachment, & Support Help the Trauma Bond
The Spellbinding Bond to Narcissists and Psychopaths – Neurobiology